Wyoming is a Marxist Hellscape
In chapter 2 of The Communist Manifesto, Marx outlines a short list of measures which should be enacted in the pursuit of communism. Oft-overlooked is the following:
Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of all the distinction between town and country by a more equable distribution of the populace over the country.
This is of course because Marxism was fundamentally a reaction against urbanization—“bourgeois” basically meaning “city people,” coming from the same roots as borough or burg. This is because cities are the bastion of capitalist growth and freedom that Marxism deplores.
Of course, America has a long history of egalitarianism, which can dangerously tip into utopian idealism and communist sympathies. These strains of thought manifest differently in the various regions of the country. Of course, liberal arts students and over-educated baristas might do their cute little Marxist LARPs in cities across America, but we all know these are good kids will mature into bourgeois patriots. The real Marxist threat has been quietly at work in unsuspected corners of the country, spreading hateful propaganda against so-called “coastal elites,” claiming that us freedom-loving “city people” are out of touch.
Unaccountable Marxist bureaucrats in planning departments of towns and counties across the state of Florida have made their own best effort to abolish the distinction between town and country by turning the entire state into undistinguished suburban mass, where individuals will be deprived of all individual distinction. The urban centers of Miami, Orlando, and Tampa for now remain bastions of capitalist freedom against the shadowy leftist forces of suburbia.
Other states are much more vulnerable than Florida to the Marxist threat: in Montana and South Dakota, beaten down, hollowed out cities like Billings and Sioux Falls are the only bulwarks preserving capitalistic freedom in their respective states.
In one state, however, freedom is truly dead. The Marxists are gathering their strength there, preparing to destroy our hard-fought American freedoms. That state, of course, is Wyoming.
This “equable distribution of the populace over the country” is just as Marx commanded. This is an ominous portent of the destruction of our American way of life. We cannot allow this dastardly power-grab to go unchecked.
If you’re a freedom-loving American prepared to make a sacrifice for the good of your country, I implore you to move to either Cheyenne or Casper, Wyoming. Amongst this corrupt sea of Marxism that is the failing state of Wyoming, we must create blue dots of American freedom.
2024 statewide elections in Wyoming tipped to city-hating reds like Donald Trump and Senator John Barrasso by margins of approximately 130,000 votes in 2024. If we can get 65,000 American lovers of capitalism to move to each Cheyenne and Casper, we can prevent this Marxist takeover.
With 65,000 more people, Casper would be approaching the population of a true paragon of American values: Santa Clara, California. With 65,000 more people, the Cheyenne metro area would surpass the population of freedom-loving Maui county.
These Soviet sympathizers have been allowed to quietly gather their strength for too long. We can still save Wyoming from the dirty reds!
Recruiting immigrants to Modor is a tough sell.
Great satire. Perhaps self-driving cars + exurban sprawl = Fully Automated Luxury Communism?